Momsterism

Today I drove my fiancé to the airport to see him off to work. I have done this before, quite often actually, but today was definitely harder than normal.  We have been trying to get our lives in order, and for the first time in my life, that meant getting on the same page financially. My fiancé and I have lived our lives in very different types of financial struggles. He has always worked out of town making a decent income, but struggled to use his money for anything but upgrading his lifestyle. I was a single mom, struggling to balance my time between my kids and my job. When we came together, money changed from a stress relief or a source of happiness, to something we no longer needed in order to make us happy. It became a tool. When money becomes a tool, it changes how you live your life. My fiancé and I had a hard look at our lives and realized we were surrounded by expensive toys, the "needs" in life to be happy. Our luxury lifestyle is why he was leaving again for work

Who Am I? Good Question! Who really am I? While trying to research ways I could answer the question of who I am, I came across a helpful article by Raj Raghunathan (2012) . The article explains that we are not able to truly answer “who am I?”, due to various distortions from our inner self, as well as the unpredictable way people can be impacted by events and other stimuli; ultimately affecting the perception of self in an unpredictable and varying way. With that said, I feel like my core beliefs make me who I am. These beliefs guide my decisions and always have; provided I continue to remain true to who I am and what I believe in. In this moment, these core beliefs represent me: Be Honest. Lying gives me anxiety so I have made a personal decision to avoid lying. I just cannot live with trying to be someone I am not.  Be Ethical. Do the right thing even when it doesn't benefit me. I believe in Karma and doing the right thing. I am the person that hands in th

I have my mom here today to help me with organization. She has always been my support when things feel too overwhelming to tackle on my own. I often wonder where my mom gets her resiliency from. Since I have been personally struggling over the last two months and now am faced with questions of purpose, she is the person who I am able to talk to. What she lives by : If you can’t change it or fix it, then move on. Compartmentalizing work vs home vs everything else. Unconditional love and acceptance- she literally sees the best in everyone. Compassion, she can empathize with almost every situation. Do what’s right- can’t go wrong by doing what is right. Career: working is done to make money to support your family - dreams are built  over time because the focus is on providing for your family. Physical organization leads to mental organization. My mom is my hero. She works a simple job in a simple life and this is her version of a “happy life”.